Question: In a recent sermon, Pastor Whipple said that the purpose of sex is the same for a single person as for a married person. As a single person, I was wondering what he meant.
Response: The role of sex in the life of a single person is a tough issue to deal with. How can we call an unmarried person's sexual desire
good if God's Word teaches that sex should only take place within marriage? How does sexual desire benefit a single person who is striving to honor God through sexual purity? Doesn't it seem more like a curse than a blessing?
To affirm the goodness of sexual desire, even in those who are unmarried, we need to establish what the purpose of sex is. In Pastor's sermon, it was stated that "the purpose of sexual desire and passion is to drive us toward our created mission of knowing and glorifying God." We see this demonstrated in two ways in 1 Corinthians 6–7.
First, a single person can use sexual desire to demonstrate the superior value of Christ. In 1 Corinthians 6:12–20, the apostle Paul responds to some of the Corinthians who were arguing that all sex is good because the body was made for sex. Paul counters by saying that "the body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body" (v. 13). He tells them, "Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you" (v. 19). Our body and all of its functions exist to glorify God (v. 20). By remaining sexually pure, a believer demonstrates that he or she exists to glorify God, showing that Jesus Christ is of immensely greater worth and brings immensely greater joy than anything else, whether good or bad—including sex.
Paul's second approach to this question is just as countercultural as the first. While he wishes that all believers could remain single so that they would be free from worldly concerns (7:33), he understands that most people are not gifted in this way (v. 8). "If they cannot exercise self-control" in regard to sexual desire, "they should marry" (v. 9). This may be a shocking solution to us, but there is good reason for it. Paul is not naive about the intensity of sexual temptation. He knows that "it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion" (v. 9). Thus, sexual desire drives a single person toward marriage, where the relationship between Christ and the church is revealed as the husband loves his wife and the wife submits to her husband (Ephesians 5:22–33). A healthy desire for sex will motivate a single person to prepare for this sort of marriage by developing the Christ-centered character of a godly man or woman, and to prayerfully seek such a person for a husband or wife. So we see that sex should encourage us to pursue marriage and in this way demonstrate the love of Christ, the value of intimate relationship with him, and the need for spiritual maturity.
Some helpful resources on sex and on the single person: